"If a smile like that is single, I'm throwing myself off this train."

Girls, we've all been there. You're alone, and somehow end up stuck in close proximity with a creeper of a guy who seems to be going out of his way to make you feel uncomfortable.

Today was my turn.

Now, I don't really like to be the center of attention. I'd rather just blend in and keep to myself. But apparently my crossed arms, averted gaze, and other please-just-leave-me-alone body language was a little misleading.


Two guys got on the train a couple stops down the line and sat down directly across from me, despite the fact the train was pretty much empty. One had a dog. It kind of lunged at me (in a friendly, non-threatening way), which essentially threw me into the spotlight. So they started talking about me (but not to me) -- things like "Oy, leave that lovely lady alone," etc. It got to the point where they were wondering out loud if I was married, and one of them actually said, "If a smile like that is single, I'm throwing myself off this train." 


And that's how he died.


Kidding. 

Anyway I tried to avoid actually speaking to them the whole time, because I figured that my American accent would just them more to talk about. The whole ordeal was super awkward. 

But something I've noticed is that creepy English men are often far more charming than creepy American men (even if it's just in their word choices), because they say things like, "Afternoon, my darling," or "There's something elegant about that one there," or "You are a gorgeous one, m'dear." 

And while it's true that that can also be super creepy, during the daylight it's not panic-inducing, and it's quite funny because it's so stereotypically British.

So even though I left that train thoroughly embarrassed, I also had to laugh.