Stress baking (& chocolate chip cookies).

I had a minor emotional breakdown this evening.

Our lease ends in September. It's almost August. So my flatmate and I were discussing our plans, when we realized something: we don't really have any.

Sure, we'd both like to stay in London. But as of right now, neither of us have jobs or a place to live. And both of those are pretty much non negotiable. The thing is, until we've got jobs lined up, we can't be sure we can afford rent. But regardless of whether or not we've made other housing arrangements, we're out in just over a month. It's kid of terrifying.

As we talked through it, I could hear the panic begin to creep into my voice. I took a deep breath. It was 9:00 at night, which meant there was nothing we could do about our situation right then, but it felt like if we didn't answer all the questions right then, our worlds would crumble.

Have you ever been there? That place between feeling this desperate need to do something -- anything -- but also being kind of helpless? I'm a pretty action oriented person. I don't like to sit around and worry. I like to do. But sometimes that's just not an option.

It's times like these that I typically do one of two things: cry or bake.

I didn't want to cry, so I made these instead.

Chocolate chip cookies

[Disclaimer: Those of you who've known me for a while are probably familiar with the fact that my dad is the undisputed king of chocolate chip cookies. I'm sorry to tell you that this is not his recipe. But it's still pretty darn good.]

 Ingredients:

1/2 cup (1 stick or 113 g) butter, softened

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

1 3/4 cup flour

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

1 egg

1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

chocolate chips (amount varies according to how chocolatey you like your cookies)

chopped pecans (optional - I think these are essential accents, though I've been told they're "interruptions")

Directions:

First off, apologies for the lack of pictures. Just imagine some really lovely chocolate chip cookies (like these). Then imagine how amazing your kitchen would smell like if you made them. The smell alone should be enough to make you want to try this recipe. If it's not, I'm not sure there's anything I can do or say to persuade you otherwise. 

This is really difficult. Are you ready?

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 C). Make sure your butter is softened. 

Combine all ingredients (sans chocolate chips and pecans) and mix. 

Fold in chocolate chips and pecans. Form into balls (of whatever size you prefer) and bake for 10 minutes, or until the bottoms are golden brown.

Place on a cooling rack and stare longingly at them till your need to eat one is greater than your fear of being burned by molten chocolate chips. Or until they're just warm enough. Then, enjoy.

That's all, folks.