Stress.

It's that time of the school year when things are due...all at the same time.

The general air around my hall and in my classes is, "Oh my gosh, there's so much to do. I might die." As for me? Well I've got a presentation and two papers. Oh, and my dad's going to be here tomorrow, which means I'd like to get as much of that done as possible today.

But the good thing is, I don't get stressed. Not really. I think, deep down, I realize that it's all going to be fine. Often, this gets mistaken for apathy -- especially in group projects. I know some people do their best work when they're stressed, but that's not me. So the other members are very visibly panicking, trying to go over every little detail and making sure it all will get done, and I'm just sitting there, calmly. It's not that I don't care or don't take it seriously (trust me, I do!), it's just that it fretting over things for an hour or two doesn't do much for me. I'd rather just sit down and start working; we'll figure out the details as we go.

This mentality applies to most everything in my life. Throughout my senior year at Baylor (and even before), I probably got asked about my post-graduation life plans a million times. I had no idea what to say. A lot of my friends were in the same boat, and that freaked them out. But I guess I just figured I'd be somewhere after I graduated, and I'd be okay. So with coursework, it's the same kind of thing. Everything will get done. Not finishing is not an option. Heck, not doing well is not an option. And psyching myself out doesn't really do much for my writer's block.

Getting started is always the worst, though. You just sit there staring at your curser as it blinks against that vast white space, thinking, "How in the world am I going to fill that space up with thousands of words?"

Intimidating, isn't it?

But once I start writing, I'm fine. I like to write. I always have. There's something therapeutic about taking all the information that's jumbled up in my head and putting it down in clear, coherent sentences. It's like the feeling you get after finally clearing all the clutter off your desk (or chair or nightstand or room in general). You sit down, look at all the free space, and breathe in deep. And I love finding ways to make phrases flow and playing with words so they convey exactly what I mean. When you think about it, the whole concept of language is kind of amazing. And the written word, well that's incredible.

So even when I'm writing about something incredibly mundane for one of my less-than-exciting classes, I can at least find some sense of satisfaction in it.

And that's enough to get me through.


**Oh, and that time up in the corner of that screenshot? That's Texas time. I'm not sitting up at 5 am working on a paper/writing a blog post. Don't worry.